I don’t know about you, but I always forget to put up my out of office replies. It’s something that I remember to do late at night or early in the morning on the first day of my vacation.
When I do put them up, I’m always in such a rush to get out the door (or back to my breakfast) that I usually go with the generic response you always see.
“I’m out of the office… Please contact so and so.”
But I was recently inspired to do better — hilariously better. And in the spirit of the upcoming holidays, I’ve compiled my favorite list of the best out of office replies I’ve seen. Without further ado, here’s the list to make you smile.
I’m away from my desk at the moment. My cubicle and computer are still here, but someone took my desk. I’ve gone off to look for it.
I am currently out at a job interview and will reply to you if I fail to get the position.
You are receiving this automatic notification because I am out of the office. If I was in, chances are you wouldn't have received anything at all.
Thank you for your email. Your credit card has been charged $5.99 for the first ten words and $1.99 for each additional word in your message.
This is an automated response, from a machine. It can’t be bargained with. It can’t be reasoned with. It doesn’t feel pity, or remorse, or fear. And it absolutely will not stop, ever, until it wishes you and yours a safe and happy holiday season. [Company Name] will be closed from Dec. 26th through Jan. 2. I look forward to re-engaging with you and hitting the ground running in 2016.
I’m not in the office right now but if it’s important, tweet me using #YOUAREINTERRUPTINGMYVACATION.
Thank you for your email. This is an auto-reply. My elves are standing in while I figure out how to program my newest iComeLately gadget to twitter-book my social-tablet.
I’ll bet no matter how many emails you send, my little elves can easily keep up. Go ahead. Give it a shot. Email again. In fact, I’m trying to figure out exactly how many emails my inbox can store. When I get back, I’m going to randomly pick emails out of a hat (well, digital hat… combined with a few random deletes). I will perhaps respond to those emails selected.
So… send away, and increase your chances of being one of the lucky reply recipients. The big drawing occurs on January 3, when I descend back down upon this fine landscape we call the work environment.
In other words, I’m gone until the new year. Happy Holidaze to all y’alls.
I am currently out of the office. I have a cell phone, but I will not be giving the number out. If you can guess the number, however, I will take your call.
Hi. I’m thinking about what you’ve just sent me. Please wait by your PC for my response.
I am currently out of the office and probably drunk. Enjoy your workweek.
Your message contained 15 characters too many for our system to accept at the present time. Please re-format and re-send.
I am away until January 15th. During my absence, please contact Jonathan. He won’t help you either.
The e-mail server is unable to verify your server connection and is unable to deliver this message. Please restart your computer and try sending again.
Thank you for your message, which has been added to a queuing system. You are currently in 352nd place and can expect to receive a reply in approximately 17 weeks.
If you’re reading this, Doc Brown was unable to make lightning strike the clock tower, and I’m stuck in 1985. I won’t be able to respond to emails or voicemail until 9ish on Tuesday, January 5th, 2016, or until email is invented — whatever comes first.
I am away from the office right now. Unfortunately, I will be back tomorrow.
I will be out of the office for the next 2 weeks for medical reasons… When I return, please refer to me as ‘ Margaret ‘ instead of ‘Steve’.
I’m sorry, I can’t reply right now. I’m not away but I’m just hiding from someone, pretending I’m away. If it’s not you I’m running away from, I’ll reply to your email.
I am on holiday. Your e-mail has been deleted.
I’m not out of the office. I’m ignoring you.
Topics: Business & Leadership